The Last Of The ... Quality Storylines (sorry Russell!)

First things first. I am very sorry that I have kept you good people waiting so long before giving you a new blog entry. I did mean to last week, really I did! But I had just a million other things to do and always got round to blog time at WAY after midnight. By which time I was asleep on the keyboard - which is possible better on a laptop than on a desktop, but there you go!

Right then. Yes, are you SURPRISED by my title today? Judging by the (rather weak) response to my most recent poll, 3 out of 5 of you were very excited to see The Master back in Doctor Who. Well, SO WAS I after the 'Utopia' episode given Derek Jacobi's superb performance in an absolutely THRILL-PACKED episode to rank with the very best this series AND THE LAST.

But as seems to happen on Doctor Who that we have these days, they put all the energy into the first part of the story then the second (and THIRD in this case) are a bit drab and a general let-down.

Yup, it was the same old story. But in fact it goes even further than that. I tell you this right now, I am just SO DISAPPOINTED with the BBC and feel SO LET-DOWN by the normally superb Russell T. Davies' storylines. Why?

Well, even after having watched it again today (which did actually settle SOME issues but not the most grievous ones), I still feel that I've watched a complete load of nonsense the like of which I have not seen since that "6th Sense" movie with Bruce Willis.

As I have said before, I really LOVE science fiction because it is the escape into a great world of imagination. But imagination is one thing. Another thing is to wrench into your head BEFORE it all begins that a whole load of stuff has happened between last week when you were there and right now when you're sitting down to watch the new one. yes, my friends, I am talking about this Miracle Year when Martha Jones, this medical student from London, has gone globe-trotting spreading the gospel of The Doctor and making sure that ALL those people, at 3 o'clock UK Time think the same thought at that same time and say out loud the word, "Doctor". Whoo Hoo!! So that's around 6 billion people - not necessarily individually, but anyway - who ALL have to be coordinated to do this ONE THING at this ONE TIME. Blimey! I mean, not even Bob Geldof could do THAT and he did many great things to Help The World in his time with charity work so far.

AH, but that's only the START of the silliness. Now The Doctor, as we know, is a pretty damn GREAT GUY and can do many marvellous things the like of which the human brain cannot even imagine. Let's look at how Wikipedia has described what happened:-

"She told everyone about the Doctor; specifically, she told everyone to think of the Doctor at the same time the Master plans to launch his fleet. Combined with the Master's Archangel satellite network, which the Doctor has had an entire year to get in tune with, this has the effect of charging the Doctor with the combined psychic energy of the people of Earth."

Are YOU psychic? Gee, I sure wish I WAS! Then I'd have known about all this before it even happened (WHOOAAHH!! There you are then!!).

But sorry, NO NO NO! As I understand it, the Archangel Network was a way that The Master could influence The People, ie, one way-traffic. And in addition, since he was dealing with the people of the Earth in what we can assume is present-day time, there is NO WAY people on Earth HAVE that ability to be psychic.

So WHAT IN HELL'S NAME did The Doctor actually tune his Antenna-Mind IN TO EXACTLY?? And anyway, WHATEVER that WAS, HOW THE HELL did it cause him to miraculously rejuvenate (ah no, NOT a regeneration this time but a different word!)? And HOW could such a rejuvenation make him pick up those 900 years that The Master had aged him by? And I DO remember The Master saying, before he aged him the second time, that he was about to reduce or hamper his capacity to regenerate (something like that, but it sounded like The Master was about to age The Doctor so much that he simply could NOT reverse it). So WHAT ABOUT THAT THEN?

Oh there's even more. During this Miracle Rejuvenation, The Master attempted two things. Firstly, he tried to shoot The Doctor with his Laser Screwdriver but failed because .... well, some kind of incredible force-field prevented the laser blast getting through. The Laser Screwdriver then fell or was knocked to the floor. But before The Master could pick it up, The Doctor "moved" it out of his reach by the power of some kind of telekinesis (ie, moving objects with the mind). Now WHEN has The Doctor ever had THAT power before? NEVER!

Oh, but The Doctor then flies across the room (OK, I'll let THAT one go!) and then goes to The Master (who is now cowering afraid on the floor). What does he say? "I Forgive You!".

Now excuse me here, but Russell T. Davies, YOU have just made The Doctor into a GOD!

The ninth Doctor, Christopher Eccleston, said in, "Boom Town", to Margaret Slitheen, "You wouldn't want to worship me, I'd make a very bad God". Seems like THAT reference was a literal one.

Can we now assume for the future that, basically, The Doctor is basically God fighting against - sorry, trying to SAVE - all that is BAD in the universe. But that couldn't market him this way, so, erm ....., let's make him look human and stick a bit ofd regeneration on top just to keep it interesting and make him a Little Bit Mortal.

Well, he did encounter The Devil on 'The Impossible Planet' together with The Ood! And BEAT him too (it seems). I guess that was a clue even then back in Series 2.

Oh dear!

You know, when I was watching this episode, I was even prepared to let go this thing of Martha travelling the world preaching The Gospel According To The Doctor. It was all fine, and the episode was going on until Martha's capture by The Master. I looked at my watch and thought, "Oh! There's less than 15 minutes to go! The whole thing, this whole Master and Toclafane and Planet Earth Wasteland thing is all going to be resolved and sorted out in UNDER 15 minutes - most likely 10 minutes to allow for goodbyes and that." It was at THAT moment that I knew it was all going a bit silly.

Anyway, back we go! OK, The Master is on the floor, The Doctor forgives him and then WHOOPS! They teleport together to The Earth below. OK, nice fight scene coming up, I thought. NO! the Master brandishes his Black Hole Creator (or whatever it was) and threatens to destroy his fleet by activating it to have millions of rockets and millions of Black Holes sucking The Earth in to destruction. The Doctor replies that he would only destroy himself doing that and persuades the handover - EASILY DONE! Well, it would destroy The Doctor too! Didn't The Master think of THAT? Should have made him do it! But no.

Back up to the ship and Jack arrives after having successfully blasted his way through and into the Tardis to destroy the Paradox Machine that The Master had created. All done WITH EASE!!?? Ah, but now let's see what Wikipedia says about it:-

"When destroyed, it has the effect of reversing time up to the point immediately before it was originally activated. However those in proximity to the device are immune to this effect by virtue of being in the "eye of the storm"."

Another amazing fact just THRUST upon us! Well, how LUCKY we are that this happens! Three Cheers for the Paradox Machine! Hip Hip Hooray etc.

So Time Is In Reverse. And back we go to just after the moment when the President of the USA is killed. WHO BY? No Toclafane, sorry, they're all back at the other end of the universe - so The Doctor kindly informs us. So .... Who Shot The President? Another fact just brushed over and ignored. Anyway, the President couldn't have been shot, could he? Why? Because it happened inside the ship! So his assassination actually DID HAPPEN somewhere else done by someone else. EH???

Complete insanity all round.

OK, that all over, relative normality is restored when Jack arrives to stop The Master's escape and handcuffs him. Francine Jones fails to shoot him and drops the gun. Then The Doctor says The Master is his responsibility and intends to keep him in the Tardis. THAT would have made a good future story possibility, but NO! A gunshot from Lucy Saxon, and The Master falls dead in The Doctor's arms. What's more, he refuses to regenerate saying he'd rather die then be a prisoner forever.

Good moment, except for one thing. The Master is DEAD (maybe)! After all the effort of Russell T. and co. to bring him back and after all that on Doctor Who Confidential telling us how they'd always planned it and wanted it, NOW all that is .... wasted! And ANOTHER future storyline and credible Bad Guy goes down the pan.

But I do remember the Female Hand With Red Nail Varnish taking The Master's signet ring from the funeral pyre with Background Laughter. A rather old-looking hand - seemed too old to be that of Lucy Saxon, but she was so obviously wearing red that you have to assume it was her. Perhaps she too is a Time-Lord-Made-Human. Russell T. joked about this hand being "the Hand Of The Rani" ....

So by the time we get to the very end of this episode and series we have lost a total of one Doctor, three companions, all the Cybermen, all but one Dalek, and the poor old Doctor is alone again! Back we go to the very beginning. Well, except for a rude interruption from a Very Large Ship (is Kylie on there or not?).

Hold on, hold on, I'm not finished there. We had the final revelation to really nail the coffin lid right down on any possible Shred Of Plausibility that might have been left in this episode. Once again, Wikipedia tells the story:-

"Thinking about what he might look like millions of years from now, Jack turns this thought into a story about how when he was "the first person from the Boeshane Peninsula to join the Time Agency", his good looks earned him the name "the Face of Boe"."

Words fail me ....

When Russell T. Davies said that the Face Of Boe was, "not out of it yet", I in my naivety thought of something far more meaty for this series end. Yeah, my end was that the Face Of Boe was The Master's father / adopted father / mentor and would appear to him Star-Wars-Yoda style to tell him off or something. I reckon I should go away and develop my ending more - much better and more interesting that the RTD one. Captain Jack the Face Of Boe?? What the hell is going on here?

If a Doctor Who two-parter is a let-down in the second of the episodes, what can a three-parter be? A let-down AND a mickey-take (sorry, that's a British expression meaning "to make fun of"). So please PLEASE NO MORE THREE-PART DOCTOR WHO STORIES. Pretty please!

And this is turning into a consistent fault in Doctor Who. Good endings - especially with two-parters. Sort it out guys!

OK, this has been one great big long RANT! And deservedly so. If I had written about, "The Sound Of Drums", it would have sounded better. Except for the way that The Doctor, Martha and Jack escaped the Future Kind. Kind of obvious, but a bit lame I thought.

Yes, I knew those poor Year-10-Trillion humans wouldn't make it. Not quite clear how The Master butchered them all and turned them into Toclafane but I'll let that pass too.

The END of Doctor Who then! What on EARTH will I do on a Saturday night at 7 o'clock? An awful long wait to Christmas!!

By the way, it may be the end of Doctor Who Series 3 but it isn't the end of this blog. I have been watching, and hope to watch more, of what they are now calling the Classic Series. Oh, I've seen some CLASSICS I can tell you. But more next time. Am hoping to watch some Patrick Troughton if possible - it's the FACES he makes that do it for me. FANTASTIC!!

The Sound Of Drums is in my Head. Off to Utopia then ....

OK, now I'm here writing this a little earlier than I wanted to be. But I am totally thrilled and at the same time a little dulled with predictability that The Master is back in Doctor Who.

Yeah yeah, we knew it was coming. Right from February this year, 2007 when it was reported in British Sunday newspaper, 'The Independent On Sunday' (11th February issue) that John Simm WAS to play the role. And since that time the speculators had been going into overdrive as to how the role would manifest itself. But even then all we knew was that he would be playing the role of Harold Saxon, politician.

The first time we heard of Mr Saxon was, of course, the Christmas episode 2006, 'The Runaway Bride' when, "under orders from Mr Saxon", the army opened fire on and destroyed the Racnoss ship bringing it down and destroying it. Why did he do that? Will we find out why? That is unknown at this point.

From then, Mr Saxon has been one of those recurring themes that we have had through Series 3. In Episode 1, "Smith And Jones", there were election posters with his name on in the background in the final scenes when Martha enters the Tardis. "The Lazarus Experiment", of course, had us seeing him direct for the first time as both the sponsor of the main event and as the Mysterious Man warning Martha's mother of the 'dangers' of The Doctor. A telephone call to find the answer to one of the door unlocking questions in "42" was next, and also at the end of that episode we saw Martha's mother again under the watchful eye of Mr Saxon's associates while they tried to get a trace on his location. Another little break, and now HERE HE IS!

Or rather there he will be and was. Because he was The Professor in the laboratory at the end of the universe trying to get the rocket working to save the remains of humanity from the vampire Future Kind, and it seemed to be a success (but WHERE will those humans end up?). Not sure where saving those humans fits in with anything and not sure HOW he ended up here either.

BUT it was all unfolding VERY nicely indeed. The Face Of Boe's prophecy, "You Are Not Alone". OK, yet again it was obvious in the end who THAT was about. But there's more. The Derek Jacobi 'Master' said that he had been found abandoned as an orphan boy in the Silver Devastation. Guess what! THIS is the VERY SAME place in the universe where The Face Of Boe is supposed to be from!!

So what do we get from this? Hmm, now we are speculating again. The Face Of Boe brought him up as a child? The face Of Boe knew who he was and so sent him to the last possible place in the universe where he knew (or THOUGHT) he could not get away from? And before doing that he would have had to put him through the Chameleon Arch process as The Doctor went through a few episodes back. Hmm again.

What about the Time War? And how did The Master escape from The Eye Of Harmony where he had been sucked into last time we saw him with Paul McGann in the 1996 TV movie. What I think is this: during the Time War he was able to escape The Eye Of Harmony which was probably severely weakened by the Dalek force and their attack. He had not been killed by The Eye - just kept prisoner forever (or so it seemed).

And what we have now is a three-parter to end Series 3. Oh, THAT MAN Russell T. Davies does it again. You know what? Wikipedia has had Utopia listed apart from the other episodes since they began and no-one had a SINGLE CLUE that it would end up like this. Those cunning people at the BBC kept it from us so as not to give away the Final Secret.

Just like I said last time. The low point of Series 3 has passed away some time ago and now we are peaking, Peaking, PEAKING!!!!! TOTALLY AND UTTERLY FANTASTIC STUFF!!! And 100 percent gripping until the end in two weeks time.

The End?? Can it be true? No, I must be mistaken. Yup, only TWO MORE EPISODES TO GO and then that's it until Christmas! Darn, I wish I had a Tardis myself to go forward to then.

But before I do that, I simply HAVE TO get myself a copy somewhere of that 1996 Doctor Who TV Movie. All I've seen is the McCoy-to-McGan regeneration sequence. And the photo on Wikipedia of them battling it out over The Eye. GOT TO GET IT!!!

And to end with, an admission. Those of you who visit my blog more than once (and I KNOW there ARE some out there) will notice that yesterday's survey has been quickly and miraculously replaced by a new (and rather hastily conceived idea for) one. Well, you know, I thought that previous survey was actually a good 'un and I really didn't imagine that we would find out THIS WEEK that Mr Saxon was who we supposed him to be. Not sure that I like the new poll I've done, so if I think of a new and better one I'll get it in there.

Don't Blink, Don't Turn Your Back or you'll miss this Blog!

Hold on a mo though. Just before I get into this one I want to put right something that was maybe a little cloudy last week. And that is this: I really DID like the two-part story "Human Nature / Family Of Blood". Probably the best of Series 3 so far. And the character of Jeremy Baines was BRILLIANTLY done. So although I had my criticisms of the second of the parts, the story as a whole stands up to anything else over this series. And the last series, and even Series 1.

There, that's put the record straight.

A Doctor-light episode .... Last time they said that we had the biggest and most complete load of DROSS OF ALL TIME with 'Love And Monsters' featuring the Abzorbaloff. When I saw they were doing ANOTHER one I froze with horror.

Ah, but THIS one was written by one of my favourite Dr Who writers, Steven Moffat. He is the man responsible for possibly my favourite story of Series 1 - 'The Empty Child / The Doctor Dances'. And he has a forthcoming BBC serial update of Jekyll And Hyde to be shown later this year. So he is GOOD!!

Before transmission of this story, we were, as ever, promised the world. Promised a monster that would make us jump - REALLY jump! A real behind-the-sofa Doctor Who monster of old! I tell you what - they certainly got the hype machine going for THIS one!

Oh, but it WAS good. And it DID make me JUMP even especially in that sequence towards the end when Larry Nightingale is left staring his heart out at the advancing Weeping Angel which gets oh-so-much-closer every time he takes his eyes off it, and it gets to within inches of his face with teeth and claws showing for all at home to see.

GREAT STUFF! And it really DIDN'T matter that The Doctor wasn't much in it this time. I guess they learnt from last time to involve him just a little more. Or was it all really EXACTLY like last time with the Abzorbaloff and I just didn't notice this time round? Not sure.

And it was such a clever idea for a story too. Most of it anyway. The idea, as The Doctor put it, that Time Is Not A Linear Progression But Is More Of Wibbly-Wobby Timey-Wimey Kind Of Stuff gave us the basis perhaps. It was one of those story lines that leaves you with a LOAD of, "How Did They ....?", or, "How Could He .... If ....?", kind of questions. Keeps you talking and thinking about it all evening and even all night. A similar thing happened to me when I watched two other - completely unrelated - films: "Total Recall" and "The Talented Mr Ripley". The kind of plots where after you've watched them fill you with so many unanswered questions, Why's and Who-Was's and How-Could's that you just HAVE TO sit back and admire just how good those writers are.

At first I didn't get why Kathy Nightingale was transported back to the past and then later why Billy Shipton was too. If they were not dead then was the story of how they would return to the present, I wondered. Ah, but on second viewing I quickly realised what was going on. Oh, darn - there I go analyzing again! Bloody adult mind that I have!!

And I certainly didn't understand why the Weeping Angels suddenly started coming after them. But it was THE KEY, stupid!! Yes, of COURSE it was!

And then the Grand Finale - the final chase of Sparrow and Nightingale through the building, through the car park, into the Tardis (and HOW could those mere HUMANS get IN THERE?? ANYTHING could have happened!!). That was then followed by the final sequence in the shop where Sally Sparrow sees The Doctor get out of a .... TAXI!! .... and then rushes out to give them all the scripts and other stuff that they would need ..... kind of ..... later .... or is it earlier? No LATER definitely because they said so.

Yes, we've definitely passed that middle-dip in the series and all the naff episodes are out the way now. Good Bye 'Shakespeare Code'! Good Bye '42'! And next week we hold onto our seats again for what the pre-episode promos call "A Pivotal Doctor Who Moment", featuring Captain Jack's return and Derek Jacobi as .... The Professor ....

Feeling a bit low myself for a moment here. Do you realise out there that in ONLY THREE WEEKS TIME it'll be the end of Doctor Who until .... well, CHRISTMAS I suppose!! WAAGGHH!! WHAT the hell are we gonna do every Saturday evening at 7 o'clock?

So until That Pivotal Moment comes I will wish you goodbye.

Now, next time I write, it'll be about some really great Jon Pertwee and Tom Baker stories I've been watching recently. And not-so good Jon Pertwee and Tom Baker stories too. But not at the same time! See ya!!